The Father Image

Men express their love toward their siblings in many forms. There are those who are just silent but naturally flare up, bully and punish their children through beating if too much is enough. Others could really articulate their emotion when someone in the family has caused anger. Some are violent when the children made offenses, with the type of discipline either by badmouthing or hitting the child/teen through physical assault.

Provebrs 23:13 Withold not a chastisement from a boy; if you beat him with the rod, he will not die. Beat him with the rod, and you will save him from the netherworld.

Proverbs 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son. But he who loves him takes care to chastise him.

Proverbs 22:15 Folly is close to the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.

Whatever it is, this is the kind of discipline that they know best for their children. All they know, this is the right thing to raise them beautifully.

In management of children, there are parents who are impatient enough who could quickly be angered over foul actions whether it is intentional or not. There are times that they could not control emotion which worsens the scenario because of the harsh word, or the worst is, it is controlled with an iron fist. Is it resolved flawlessly as the days mature? No! Some may have remained silent but deep inside the pain remain in their subconscious. They learn to be disrespectful as they reach adolescence or while in the process. The pain that they could not voice out while they were minors because of fear may be expressed now that they have already established their reasoning power whether immature or mature disposition. It’s either they could still be silent at home out of respect that's left or express it to other people through eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, and foot for foot. Others may have been rebellious by stowing away which brought them to juvenile delinquency. Others may have ignored the painful process but soon retaliates by not taking meals and closed conversation.

Ephesians 4:26 Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.

Proverbs 19:18 Chastise your son, for in this there is hope; but do not desire his death.

Ephesians 3:21 Fathers do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.

Luke 6:36 Be merciful just also your Father is merciful.

Anger per se is not a sin because it could correct anyhow. Likewise beating is not illicit because it chastises. But these can be dangerous and become a sin when it is accompanied by badmouthing, harsh statements and multiple lashes which lessen the self-esteem of the child/teen, which causes them to keep bitterness which naturally burst when already full wherein disrespect and exchange of argument begin to crop up considering that if parents who have been molded in terms of patience for long years could not be patient, what more with these children/teens whose patience are not yet developed that much.

Psalm 37:8 Give up your anger, abandon your wrath; do not be provoked; it brings only harm.

Psalm 14:29 The patient man shows much good sense, but the quick-tempered man displays folly at its height.

Ephesians 4:29 No foul language shall come out of your mouths, but only such is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear.

Anger is there to be firmed on what is believed to be true to correct the issue. Beating is done not to satisfy anger but as a warning to educate the child/teen that misdeeds do not deserve a reward.

Absolutely, everyone’s destiny is not dependent on the violent formation he/she grew up with because he/she has all the freedom to twist the things that he/she discovered wrong but it will be a long process since it has already been in the system.

Of course, there's no such thing as late in this case because what matters is the heart that accepts, recognizes and reforms faults. But it would have been better if we could hug, kiss and say "I love you" to our parents while growing up. It could be envious seeing families who have that luxury of love, those father and son or mother and daughter who are holding hands while walking on the street, or an affectionate parent-siblings relationship. Isn't it?

As I've mentioned, it's not late yet. The challenge is for the new generation of fathers, to articulate their love towards their children not through an iron fist and unfriendly words but through gentle fatherhood; not through own accord but in accordance with the Divine Mercy and love.

Sirach 30: 1-13 He who loves his son chastises him often that he may be his joy when he grow up. He who disciplines his son will benefit from him, and boast of him among his intimates. He who educates his son makes his enemy jealous, and shows his delight in him among his friends. At the father’s death, he will seem not dead, since he leaves after him one like himself, whom he looks upon through life with joy, and even in death without regret: The avenger he leaves against his foes, and the one to repay his friends with kindness. He who spoils his son will have wounds and bandage and will quake inwardly at every outcry. A colt untamed turns out stubborn; a son left to himself grows up unruly. Pamper your child and he will be a terror for you, indulge him and he will bring you grief. Share not in his frivolity lest you share in his sorrow, when finally your teeth are clenched in remorse. Give him not his own way in his youth, and close not your eyes to his follies. Bend him to the yoke when he is young, thrash his sides while he is still small, lest he become stubborn, disobey you, and leave you, disconsolate. Discipline your son, make heavy his yoke, lest his folly humiliate you.