One
breezy weekend, the father was relaxingly reading the broadsheet when he
noticed a sheet of paper inserted on it. Discovering that it was his son's
report card, he suspected something fishy because that should not have been
kept. As he browsed on the report card, he was upset of what he found out. He
was trying to control his temper because he did not want to spoil his cosy
weekend but he could not overcome it. Immediately after, he rushed to call his
son, "Sonny! Sonny! Sonny!" The son went hastily to his Dad,
"Yes, Dad! Do you want some coffee?" he asked as if he knew nothing.
"Can you explain this report card? You failed again! Why don't you imitate
Sean who always make it on top?," the Dad clamoured. "Dad, it's
unfair comparing me with Sean!", he replied. "Why? Why it’s
unfair?", the father asked. Sonny reacted, "Because Sean's Dad is
intelligent!"
See!
Even at home, problems are unpredictable which needs a smart disposition to
patch up such a headache.
Reality
check, old age can never be a guarantee of maturity. In our society, we could
see leaders who are corrupt, cover up misdeeds, engaged in maneuvering the truth, murder opponents,
fabricate destructive issues against constituents.
Inside
homes, there are parents who approve crime, prostitution, fights, drunkenness
for reason that they themselves are in the same activities.
In
the news, we could find a grandfather[1] kills
his grandson, a 40-year old actor bullies an elderly man, a father[2] murders his own daughter, a mother who
sells her own baby just to survive a living, a military force who salvages a
mobster, an employer who maltreats domestic help, a husband batters his wife.
While we’re inside the jeepney, we could notice some passengers
who complain to the driver because of overcharging, passengers who have a
heated argument because of the other who’s inconsiderate on occupying almost 2
seats.
All of which are signs of immaturity. This
means that we could not master the values on maturity that God teaches us from
the beginning up to this time. God leads us to a life of tranquility through
honesty, meekness, patience and fidelity but we’re blinded by the immaturity
and; brokenness that we’ve gone through from inside our own homes and
neighbors. We assume that it’s just alright to be violent, and be dishonest
because everyone does it anyway.
The
moment that we handle any event in our lives with violence that risks lives,
relationship, trust, decency as loyalty towards God’s word is manifestation of
immaturity.
Immaturity can be minimized
when we recognize holiness of God’s word after we’ve acknowledged our
imperfections, after we’ve forgiven our filthiness, after we’ve forgiven the
people who influenced and caused us to be impure, after we’ve accepted each
one’s individuality, after we’ve depended our whole life being with God,
because maturity is living with God through His word rather than living with
our own emotions and desires through the influence of the world.
Although Confirmation is sometimes called the
"sacrament of Christian maturity," we must not confuse adult faith
with the adult age of natural growth, nor forget that the baptismal grace is a
grace of free, unmerited election and does not need "ratification" to
become effective. St. Thomas reminds us of this: “Age of body does not
determine age of soul. Even in childhood man can attain spiritual maturity: as
the book of Wisdom says: "For old age is not honored for length of time,
or measured by number of years. "Many children, through the strength of
the Holy Spirit they have received, have bravely fought for Christ even to the
shedding of their blood.”[3]
Illustrated below is the difference of the
mindset between emotionally immature and mature:[4]
“Upsetting events can be labelled as "key moments" which
stimulates strong emotion wherein we're most likely to be defensive or
reactive. Choice can be made either willfully or unconsciously which
ascertain the quality of our lives. Good choices as emotional maturity
equals confidence in growth efficacy and pleasant communion with peers and with
loved ones.
On
the other hand, poor choices as immaturity causes us to be ineffectual and
a feeling of hostage of life's fortune.
It It is not an easy thing to formulate good
choices wherein sometimes we lost lost our composure because of disgusting
circumstances that we face occasionally: harsh treatment, unethical gestures,
disrespect of boundaries, violent words and deeds by both our loved ones and
neighbors. and with loved ones.
So how could we progress in our emotional
maturity?
Be present - no one can pick a superior reaction if he/she is not aware
of what is happening both within and around us which is the reason why one
keeps on dwelling on old, habitual and negative reaction because there are
people who are disinclined to behave properly because of being blinded by pride
than humility. Although it's tough to be present on the reality but it is
possible. This can be done by a realization that our lives is our
"moment,"that our positive response to any occurrences whether it is
relational, financial, or psychological always have an impact on our individual
happiness which is our access to "change and maturity."
Embrace reality - Whining, escaping and denial of life's
turbulence by engaging in a vice (drunkenness, drug dependence and rebellion)
can never resolve an issue but all the more push a person on one side.
Struggling for a dilemma has only two exits, it's either you "make
it" when you sit down and make alternatives for a resolution or
"break it" when you connect unfriendly experience with an unfriendly
acceptance and reformation.
Exercise responsibility - human's personal uninteresting
experience and results in life are influenced but not determined by
circumstances, events and other people. If you're into friends who are
drunkards, then most likely your outlet when encountering a predicament is
naturally on drunkenness than contemplation. If you're into a community
of believers, facing a crisis would be in prayers and rumination for a
well-thought plan A and plan B.
Matthew 116:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples,
"whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and
follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever
loses his life for my sake will find it. What profit would there be for
me to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange
for his life. For the Son of Man will come with His angels in His
Father's glory, and then He will repay everyone according to his conduct. Amen,
I say to you there are some standing here who will not taste death until they
see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom.
[1] www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2592405/Grandfather-86-kills-hills-grandson-grandson-
bloody-murder-suicide-eviction-proceedings-kick-victims-daughters-home-took-long.html
[2] http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/361866/news/metromanila/man-kills-daughter-in-
qc-posts-photo-of-dead-girl-on-facebook
[3] http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c1a2.htm#1308
[4] http://www.theheroschoice.com/2011/01/01/how-to-become-emotionally-mature/
[5] http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c1a1.htm#1248
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