He who hopes all things endures all things. Many are the distractions as we laboriously work for something but we endure all the rejections, criticisms, discouragement, intimidation because we believe and hope for the favorable results.
Failures are countless while in the process of an ambitious pursuit but once we get there as a victor, failure becomes our strength. Our weakpoints in the past become our strength at present because from this Achilles’ heel, we have learned to balance decision-making which brings us more opportunities that best suit us.
For example, my inferiority complex from the past teaches me to give hope to the hopeless, encourage versatility to those who are idle, to move on despite the rejection, cheer up amidst uncertainties. The weak spot that I conquered gives me confidence to tell the people around me that every endurance bears fruit, multiplies fruits, gives life, multiplies life.
2 Timothy 4:6-8 For I am already being poured out like a libation, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith. From now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just Judge, will award to me on that day and not only to me, but to all who have longed for His appearance.
However, while others enjoy this life through thick and thin, we could still encounter a lot of people who seem to be with low self-esteem and a show of hopelessness to some. Witnessing this type of behavior bring us sometimes to be nit-picking than prescribing a solution to the issue. Oftentimes, we neglect the truth that all people have different childhood experiences while in the custody of their parents which mirror their present behavior.
Parents and people out there who have potential vocation on a married life please take note of this. As growing children, the circumstances we saw, heard and experienced in our respective families, spacious community and at school will have influenced the way we see ourselves. These experiences that lead us to think bad of ourselves include:
- systematic punishment, neglect or abuse
- failing to meet parental standards
- failing to meet peer-group standards
- being on the receiving end of other people's stress or distress.
- belonging to a family or social group that other people are prejudiced towards
- an absence of praise, warmth, affection or interest
- being the odd one out, at home or at school.
So what do we do as parents, as significant others to these children? “Rules for Living” should be one’s practice. Next time around, when you’re almost at the tip of your tongue to voice out your negative belief about your children or anyone around you like, “Stupid!” “Moron;” or comparing, criticising, teasing, name-calling, insulting, rejecting and evaluating the child’s or adult’s behaviour, please be constantly reminded that these verbal attacks on both a child or an adult hurt the human soul forever which is a silent epidemic.[1] This must be the reason why there are people who are not affectionate or not even close to their loved ones (except of course on cases of a transcendent heart who gradually reforms after realization). For example, my aunt before her death at a young age told her siblings not to allow her sister on her wake because of negative experiences she had with her eldest sister. She died with an angry than a heart that forgives.
Or in case you’re almost there to beat your children, be harked back that this does not create good impact to one’s personality. So before you flare up and turn your anger into violence in the future, please be guided by this:[2]
1. Set limits before getting angry – The minute you start getting angry is a signal to do something. Intervene not by yelling but in a positive manner to prevent more of that particular behaviour which irritates you. Restate your family rule or expectation and redirect them to prevent escalating anger.
.
2. Make and post a list of acceptable ways to handle anger – Stop, breathe and be reminded that it’s not an emergency. Hum if you need to make a noise. Try to find a way to laugh to discharge tension and shift the mood. Put on some music and dance if you feel the need to physically discharge your rage.
3. Take Five – An angry state is a terrible starting place to intervene with, give yourself a timeout and come back when you are able to calm, so you won’t be tempted to touch your children violently.
4. Listen to your anger, rather than acting on it – Limit expression of anger.
5. Expression of anger to another person reinforces and escalates it – Based on research, expression of angry while angry makes us even angrier. Dwelling on the situation always proves to us that we are right and the other is wrong which triggers us to be more angry.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3::21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.
A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The "supreme gift of marriage" is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged "right to a child" would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right "to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents," and "the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception."[3]
Parents' respect and affection are expressed by the care and attention they devote to bringing up their young children and providing for their physical and spiritual needs. As the children grow up, the same respect and devotion lead parents to educate them in the right use of their reason and freedom.[4]
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment