JCM: Husband and Wife for Life

One beautiful morning, the woman excitedly faced the mirror. She was shocked at what the full-length mirror had on sight. The woman looked closely at the mirror. She saw an old woman with wrinkled face, bulging eye bag, breasts barely above her waist, tummy that flaps, legs filled with varicose veins, sagging skin, flabby arms, and waist overly extended. "Oh my gosh! This is not me, she said.

Anxious about her figure, the woman runs to her husband. Repeating the things she saw on the mirror, the woman said, “Honey, I look in the mirror and I saw an old woman. My face crackles, my eye bag swells, my breasts almost hit my navel, my joints are crunchy and my ramp incredibly doubles the size of the full-length mirror."

Affectionate as she is, the woman sits at the husband's lap, "Honey, tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself." About a few seconds of thinking, the husband replied, "Love", he said, "Absolutely.......you have very good, clear eyesight."

Is it nice that after long years of exchanging love, thoughts, ideas, struggles; the couples end up sharing each one's affection up to the time of retiring on earth?

On another occasion, after the office hours, the husband was rushing to go to the flower shop. Right after he bought a bunch of roses, he took a cab in haste to see his wife.

As if he wanted to crawl on the floor as he reached home so that he would not benoticed . He would always surprise his wife on her birthday. At that point, he managed to sneak towards his wife whom he blindfolded with his arms. "Stop it! I'm watching “Return of the Wife”. It’s going to be spine-tingling ", the wife gruffly reacted. Releasing his hand from the blindfold, the effusive husband greeted his wife, "Happy Birthday!" and amorously gave the bunch of roses. The wife was surprised "Huh! Is it my birthday today?" At the age of 70 she had her memory gap so there were times that she could not recall some of their important dates.

Every time she had a birthday, her loving husband would not forget to bring her roses. If there were instances that he could impossibly hand-carry it especially when he is out of town because of the nature of his job, he would creatively call up the flower shop to deliver the roses right at their doorsteps.

Their old age witnessed how they exchanged their love and affection until the husband died one day. Being left alone was very painful for her remembering all the goodness that the husband had been shown to her.

One day after a year of mourning, she felt so much loneliness. It was her birthday. No more bunch of roses. No more kisses. No more affection. No more surprises. Unlike before that she had been pampered with fresh roses even her husband had his out of town assignment.

Because of too much emotion, she thought of going to the garden to freshen up. Surprisingly as she opened the door, she found a bunch of roses beside the doorway. As she checked on it, she discovered that it was sent through a courier. Out of displeasure, she called the flower shop. She talked to the manager in tears, "You know this is not a good joke. You do not know how difficult it is to endure of losing a husband. I've been suffering for a year for my husband's death and here you are adding to my pain", she complained. The manager was very apologetic, explained and empathized with her, "I'm very sorry Ma’am. I was not informed about your husband’s death. Previously, I was instructed to deliver his order if ever he could not make it to drop by. Basically he would order ahead of time. In fact, he's already paid up to next year."

It’s inspiring to witness such stories of relationship wrapped up with endearment, love and affection.

Conversely, it’s so sad that we could find others ,who, after the giddy moments like a courting man who carries her girlfriend’s bag into his shoulder and holding her hand as she alights the jeepney/cab, and after affixing signature in the marriage contract, here they are the couples competes each one playing immature roles engaging themselves on concubinage, bigamous and adulterous relationship just like the one portrayed on the TV show Ang Dalawang Mrs. Real (The Two Mrs. Reals), then call it a “stalemate” after a series of fights.

Ephesians 4:26 Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil.

Hebrew 13:3 Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers.

In showbiz, after all the sweet promises and impressive plans, the marriage ends up in a divorce. “I’m no longer happy in our relationship”, the other defended. My goodness! Where do you find in this continent a relationship that has no indifferences? But the point does finding a new relationship could be a better escape?

Matthew 5:31 "It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife must give her a bill of divorce.' But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 5:33 "Again you have heard that it was said to your ancestors, 'Do not take a false oath, but make good to the Lord all that you vow.'

While growing up, I witnessed how my mother would give a good punch when there's disagreement between her and my father. How she would perfectly aim at my father as target hurling the lamp against him. Now, they're already old but still quarrels. It happened twice that my mother had to leave the family because of uncontrollable emotions but we're still intact in the long run.

Possible objections are expected like, “I'm giving up this relationship because he's a wife beater", "I'm fed up with this marriage because my husband/wife is irresponsible, unfaithful!", and “He/she is psychologically incapacitated because of his /her sexuality!”

It’s easier said than done but any issue could not be resolved through escapism. The more we escape to an issue, the more we are haunted by it because it's an unfinished business.

Second marriage may be successfully obtained but does not guarantee a relationship without flaws.

Marital problems are all man-made that can be resolved once one of them silence its heart and mind whether he/she is the aggrieved party or not. The other may be close-minded because of something that veiled his/her heart but the one who's aware of its setback should take the initiative to save the relationship.

The impossibility to resolve an issue happens because we keep it by ourselves which limits a brighter stance, confides to the people who are spiritually immature who prescribes immature solution and rationalizes misdeeds, and blinded by anger, than laying down all the possible alternatives to conquer such an imperfection. “Any man-made problem can always be paired with a man-made solution.”

In any issue that is seemed impossible to be resolved, the church through the Priest is always there to listen and enlighten. If the husband can't be brought in for counseling because of reluctance, the wife can do it by herself alone to avoid misguidance not to be part of the husband's mistake. Maximize the effort to clear up the trouble by attending church's spiritual activities like Life in the Spirit Seminar where values are taught to lighten up the dilemma.

The reason why we're having a hard time of coping up any issue is because we ignore it while it is still shallow, until the effect multiplies another worst issue because simple issue that’s not resolved could easily trigger one's anger even there's no reason to be angered. Don't leave any smallest issue unattended simply because the biggest fire comes from the smallest flame. Issues whether small or big could not be resolved effectively and affectively by facing it alone but through the help of the church or community where different wisdom are gathered for a better and bigger picture of surmounting life’s battle.

James 5:16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful.

Exodus 20:8-11 "Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day. Six days you may labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD, your God. No work may be done then either by you, or your son or daughter, or your male or female slave, or your beast, or by the alien who lives with you. In six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them; but on the seventh day He rested. That is why the LORD has blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

As we gradually become closer to the Divine Mercy and Grace, we are conquering the evil thought that clings into one's mind contrary to what happened to Herodias (Herod’s wife) who resorted to murder the pious man because of anger that's not unleashed and well guided.

There may be reluctance in any attempt to save the relationship in spite of the selfless efforts which we can’t force but what matters is the maximized effort to regain what was lost making hands free from any guilt amid another's guilt.

The story of the couple teaches us the love that sacrifice, the love that is conditioned to perfection, the love that is overshadowed by affection and sincerity towards the end, the love that is unmasked.

PRAYER

Lord Jesus, in Your abounding grace and providence, we claim victories for marriages that are fading because of love that is fallen. With our confidence of Your love, broken hearts caused by unfair gestures shall mend, forgive and reshape. Amen!