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18 months through 2 years
In this stage of their lives, the child begins to define themselves. Look for child care routines that stimulate imagination and vocabulary. They get into everything during the toddler years, so do your best to keep them safe from a potential danger. However, become conscious that accidents do happen even to the most cautious parents and children.
When rearing or looking for quality care for the toddler, these tips can be valuable:
- Make sure that the child care setting is safe and provides small group sizes and adult-to-child ratios.
- Ensure enough toys and activities so sharing isn’t a problem.
- Check if there a lot of toys for building which can be put together.
- Provide a dress-up area.
- Make sure that activities allow their freedom to make their own art or do all crafts look alike.
- Lastly, be particular with the toilet training and discipline practices.
2 years old
At this stage, children are loving, affectionate, and responsive to others. They feel sorry or sad when others of their age are upset. They may even like to please you. They don’t need you so close for protection, but don’t go too far away. They may do the exact opposite of what you want. They may be rigid, not willing to wait or give in. They may even be bossy. “Me” is one of their favorite words. They may have fears, specifically of sounds, separation, moving household objects, or that big dog.
In this phase of their lives, they need to continue exploring the world, down the block, the parks, library, and stores, etc. They like their routines. If you have to change them, do so gradually. They need you to notice what they do well and PRAISE them. Give them two OK choices to distract them when they begin to say “No.” They need you to be in control and make decisions when they’re unable to do so. They do better when you plan ahead. Be FIRM with them about the rules, but CALM when they forget or disagree. Be patient because they’re doing their best to please you, even though they may not act that way.
3 through 5 years
During the preschool years, children are extremely busy. Cutting, painting, pasting, and singing are all daily routines. When the child starts kindergarten about age five, ensure that home and child care activities include learning numbers, letters, and simple directions. Generally, public school kindergarten programs are usually only a few hours a day. You may need care before and after schools so be creative on searching/planning.
When taking quality care for preschooler, consider these helpful tips:
- Ensure that there other children the same age or close in age to your child.
- Make sure that there is a space for climbing, running, and jumping.
- Provide books and learning activities to prepare them for school.
- Be selective on television and movie they’re watching.
- Make it a point that learning materials and teaching styles age-suitable and respectful of children’s cultural and ethnic heritage.
- If they’re with caregivers, they should be experienced and trained in early childhood development.
- Children should be provided with choices to do and learn things for themselves.
- Children should not be rushed to complete activities or tasks, but are given enough time to work at their own pace.
3 years old
Pay attention! At this phase, children are charged with physical energy, doing things on their own terms, with a sponge mind. Reading and socializing are necessary in getting them ready for school. They like to pretend a lot and enjoy scribbling on everything, with full of questions, many of which are “Why?” They turn to be fairly reliable about using the potty. They may stay dry at night and may not. Playing and experimenting new things out are how they learn. Occasionally they like to share. They start to listen more and begin to understand solving problems for themselves.
In this another wonderful stage, they want to know about everything and understand words, and when encouraged, they use words instead of grabbing, crying, or pushing. Play, sing on them, and let’s pretend!
4 years old
In here is an active stage: running, hopping, jumping, and climbing. They love to ask “Why?” and “How?” They are interested in numbers and the world around them, enjoy playing with their friends, like to be creative with drawings, and may like my pictures to be unique from everyone else’s. They’re curious about “sleepovers” but not sure if they’re ready yet. They may want to be just like their older sister or brother, and proud that they are so BIG now!
At this point in their lives, they need to explore, to try out, and to test limits. Providing them room to grow doesn’t mean letting them do everything. They need reasonable limits set for their own safeguard and for others. Allow them to know clearly what is or isn’t to be expected. They need to learn to give and take and play healthily with others. They need to be read to, talked to, and listened to enthusiastically. They need to be given choices and to learn things in their own way. Label objects and describe what’s happening to them so they can learn new words and things.
5 years old
In here, they’re slowing a little in growth, have good motor control, but their small muscles aren’t as developed as their large muscles for jumping. Their activity level is high and play has direction. They like writing their name, drawing pictures, making projects, and going to the library. They’re more interested now in doing group activities, sharing things and feelings. Now and then, they like quiet time away from the other kids. They may be anxious to begin kindergarten.
They need the opportunity for plenty of active play, need to do things for themselves, like to have choices on how they learn new things. Primarily, they need your love and assurance that they’re important, need time, patience, understanding, and genuine attention. They’re learning on who “I am and how I fit in with others.” They need to know how they’re doing in a positive approach. They understand more about things and how they work, so it’s significant to be responsive by giving them a more detailed response. They have a big imagination and pretend a lot. Although they’re becoming taller, mother’s lap is still one of their much-loved places.
6 through 8 year sold
In this period, children have busy days filled with recess, homework, and tear-jerking fights with their friends, begin to think and plan ahead, have a thousand questions. This age group has good and bad days just like adults so be prepared, because it’s only the beginning!
When finding for quality care for school-age child, consider these pointers:
- Mothers or nannies are trained to work with school-age children.
- Provide them a space for sports activities, climbing, running, and jumping.
- Give them materials that spur of give interest to the child.
- Television and movie watching should be selective.
- Ensure a quiet place for their homework or reading.
- Transportation should be available.
6 years old
At this age, they’re affectionate and excited over school, and go enthusiastically most of the time. They’re self-centered and can be quite demanding. They think of themselves as a big kid now. They can be impatient, wanting their demands to be met NOW. Yet they may take forever to do ordinary things, like to be with older children more than with younger ones, often have one close friend, and sometimes you will exclude a third child.
Probably this is their first year in real school. It’s fun though also scary. They need to be provided with a safe place for them. Activities and consistency are significant. Don’t accept their behavior one day and correct them for the same behavior tomorrow. Organize and explain rules about daily activities like playtime and bedtime. They need to be affirmed for a job well done. Considering that they may go to before-and after-school care, help them get organized the night before. Ensure that they have everything ready for school.
7 years old
They’re often more quiet and sensitive to others than they were at six. At times, they can be mean to others of their age and younger. They may hurt their feelings, but they really don’t mean it, tend to be more polite and agreeable to adult suggestions. They’re now conscious of their schoolwork and start to compare their work and themselves with others. They want their schoolwork to look “right.” If they make mistakes, they can easily become upset.
In this exploration of their young lives, they need to tell you about their experiences, and need the attention of other adult listeners. They really want you to listen and understand their feelings. Don’t put them down or tell them that you can’t do it—help them to learn in a positive way. Check their homework and reading assignments. Allow them to go over to their friends and play when possible. They still need hugs, kisses, and a bedtime story.
8 years old
Children’s curiosity and eagerness to explore new things continues to develop. At this point, friends are more important, enjoy playing, and being with peers. Recess may be their favorite “subject” in school. They may follow you around the house just to find out how you feel and think, especially about them. They also start to be aware of adults as individuals and curious about what they do at work. Around the house or at child care, they can be quite helpful.
At this point, their concept of an independent self has been developing. They assert their individuality, and there are bound to be conflicts. They are expected to learn and read and to get along with others, need support in their efforts to have a desire for accomplishment. Mother’s expectations have a big impact on them. If they’re not doing well in school, explain to them that everyone learns at a different pace, and that little progresses make a difference. Tell them that the most significant thing is to do their best. Ask their teachers for ways to help them at home. Problems in reading and writing should be managed now to avoid more difficulty later. Busy eight-year-olds are basically hungry!
9 through 11 years old
Kids from this period are like the socks they buy, with a great range of stretch. Some are still “little kids” while others are quite mature. During this stage, some are already entering puberty, with body, emotions, and attitude changes. They begin to think rationally and like to work on real tasks, like cutting grass or baking. They have several natural curiosities about living things and enjoy with pets.
They have lots of energy, and physical routines are significant to them. They like to take part in sports and group activities, like clothes, music, and their friends. They’re invited to sleepovers and to friends’ houses often. They want their hair cut a certain way. They’re not as sure about school as they are about their social life. Some girls may begin to show signs of puberty, and may be self-conscious about it. They feel powerful and independent, as though they know what to do and how to do it. They can think for themselves and want autonomy, and eager to become an adult.
In this stage, they need communication lines open by setting rules and giving reasons for them, by being a good listener, and by planning ahead for changes in the schedule. Keep in mind that they’re still a child so don’t expect them to act like an adult. They like to be an active member of the household, to help plan routines, and to be a part of the decision-making. Once they’re eleven or older, they may be ready to take care of themselves occasionally rather than go to child care. They still need adult help and encouragement in working their homework.
Once the children enter adolescence, they want their freedom. Nevertheless, they still want to be children and need guidance. As they grow, it’s easier to leave them at home for longer periods of time and also ask them to care for younger children. Trust your instincts and watch them to make it a point that you are not placing too much responsibility on them at one time. Talk to them. Keep the door open. Ensure that they’re comfortable with a new role of caregiver and is still able to finish their school work and other projects.
11 through 14 years old
At this turn of age, they’re changing so fast - in body, mind, and emotions - that you difficultly know them anymore. One day they’re are as responsible and cooperative as an adult; the next day they’re more like a six-year-old. Planning beyond today’s amusement/diversion or siesta is tough. One minute they’re cheerful; the next they’re outcast and silent. Keep cool. They’re in process and becoming more self-sufficient - Independence Day!
At this instance, they’re more independent than they used to be, but quite self-conscious. They think more like an adult, but there’s no simple answer, like to talk about issues in the adult world, like to think for themselves, and though they often feel confused, their opinions are important to them, and they want others to respect them. They seem to be moving away from their family. Friends are more significant than ever. Having them, they sometimes act in ways that adults turn down. But they still need reasonable rules set by adults. Nevertheless, they’re more understanding and cooperative. They want nothing to do with babysitters- in fact, if they’re mature enough and can often be by themselves or watch others.
In this stage of their lives, they need to know that their family is behind them no matter how they may stumble in their efforts to grow up, which is a serious business. They need to laugh and play a lot to lighten up and keep their balance. They need to be understood that they’re doing their best and encourage them to recognize their mistakes as learning experiences. Don’t make fun of their clothes, hair, boy/girl friends. They also need privacy with their own space and things.
Controlling the seemingly uncontrollable
Outbursts of anger and scolding are insignificant in teaching the children to behave correctly and acquire knowledge and skills. Scolding can have long-lasting and damaging effects. Children view scolding in different ways. Some know they’ve breached a rule and accept scolding to ease their guilt. Others don’t perceive a connection between their behavior and scolding. Still others think that an adult doesn’t like them or thinks they are stupid. Many children react with shock and fright - “It’s like hitting someone with your voice.[3]
Based on research, psychologically, scolded children can go through feelings of humiliation, guilt, embarrassment, nervousness, and stress. If coupled with the absence of positive feedback, children may have difficulty in social relationships development while growing.
Children witnessing (bystanders) another child being scolded, also experience negative effects. Probably they identify with the targeted child, feel distressed at not being able to help, or fear for their own security. In some cases, the effect on the onlookers can be stronger than the target.
With the child that’s pushy, “JUST SAY IT IN A NORMAL WAY.” Count to 10 and breathe deeply to regain composure instead of giving in to the temptation to grab the child by the arm, force the child to look into your eyes, and speak angry words. Ask the child in a non-intimidating approach to explain what happened and why.
Child may have spilled milk because he forgot to hold the cup with both hands. Take the situation as an opportunity to teach.
If a child has broken a rule, ask what they don’t understand about it. Going over again to the rule and the reason behind it may help – mothers MUST not hit anyone because it can hurt.
Having the attitude of inquiry and helping, parents can develop a home environment of positive reception and esteem.
Care to share this blog if you could relate as Moms and Dads, or someone who’s concerned of your friends, loved ones, peers and neighbours.
Care
to share this blog if you could relate as Moms and Dads, or someone who’s
concerned of your friends, loved ones, peers and neighbors.
References:
Care About Quality was published by the California Department of Education in 2000, http://www.cde.ca.gov/sp/cd/re/caqdevelopment.asp
[3] Texas Parenting News, Scolding can hurt more than help, http://www.childcarequarterly.com/pdf/summer12_tpn.pdf
[4] Gravissimum educationis 3, http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_decl_19651028_gravissimum-educationis_en.html
[5] Catechism of the Catholic Church CCC Nos. 2221, 2222, 2223, 2224, 2225, 2226, 2227, 2228, 2229 http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a4.htm#2221
[6] Familiaris Consortio 36 http://w2.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/apost_exhortations/documents/hf_jp-ii_exh_19811122_familiaris-consortio.html
[7] Centesimus annus 36 § 2. 36 § 2, http://w2.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_jp-ii_enc_01051991_centesimus-annus.html
[8] Lumen Gentium Nos. 11, 11 § 2), http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_const_19641121_lumen-gentium_en.html
[9] Gaudium et spes 48 § 4, http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_const_19651207_gaudium-et-spes_en.html
[10] Gravissimum educationis 6, http://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_decl_19651028_gravissimum-educationis_en.html
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