Dealing with arrogant individuals who have unsuccessful efforts to self-heal

More often than not, arrogance can be a sign of too much need for self-importance and desire to be the spotlight. It can turn into narcissism in its excessive form. It could be the root of many difficulties, from apprehension to depression to the incapacity to uphold healthy and satisfying relationships.

The first piece of advice on dealing with arrogant people is to try staying away from them, or to have clear frontiers with them as they may become energy suckers. However, if one has to deal with them, below are some methods to empathize why they act the way they behave. These will give skills on dealing with these people.

Identifying some characteristics of egotistical individuals before dealing with them

1. Arrogant individuals take too many measures for self-image protection. As their world is commonly small, they can be found in statements packed with “should” and “must.” They’re into idealist standpoints, and a need to impose and make others believe that their world is superior than yours and mine. By and large, they will basically have an aversion towards another without accepting that.

2. Haughty persons ordinarily have many friends, but just on the surface, whose friendship is customarily about quantity than quality. They can be captivating, but with an agenda - to find an ego feeder. They may have obtained ways to pull a lot of people into their universe, but commonly those who feed into their egotism.

3. Egotistical fellows feel incomplete. Hence, they use other people to fill up the inner space.

4. Self-important people are intolerant of dissimilarities, bringing down others and placing them at a lesser position, short of the ability to feel confidence internally finding a feeling of superiority by looking at others as inferior. Further, these individuals can’t see diverse perspectives, whose viewpoints are wedged and are normally not valid as they are basically the ones who simply glance at the cover of the magazine to appear brainy and stick to this belief.

These people may also callously criticize others who don’t accept their viewpoints.

5. High and mighty individuals are not capable of lifelong relationships for the reason that they regard people as either very good or very bad, depending on who think highly of them and who rejects. Strictly speaking, you will appear good on them once this wish of theirs is satisfied. They can be a lover in one minute and a hater later.

6. Lofty people can’t feel a true sense of empathy as it is difficult for them to have a real sense of it. If they do, it is commonly provisional, depending on what sort they are getting from whom they are expressing empathy.

7. Self-aggrandizing individuals may have self-esteem gaps. Self-esteem is how strong one’s sense of self is. There are a many gaps in this area that need to be filled for haughty people.

8. Bigheaded people may look too sure of themselves, who are usually thriving from the outside and things look good as they go the extra mile to appear as unblemished as possible. But when dug deeper, the true feeling of shortfall slips ovbiously.

9. Self-centered persons have unsuccessful efforts to self-heal. For this type, the problem is usually “you” or the “other,” that is why self-healing or therapy won’t be effective.

10. Overconfident individuals usually make the most of their contributions and underplay that of his/her significant others. These people expect too much for what they are disposed to offer. These are those who think her/his government, society, people around him and the world will be in debt it to her/him if without being recompensed. If healthy functioning human does relative levels of cost benefit examination in diverse circumstances, an arrogant individual looks for huge gains with minimum exertion of sweats, chiefly at the expense of others.

Dealing with the arrogant in a productive approach

1).  Never allow yourself to be their door mat, and identify clear frontiers with them.

2). Just treat them as if they are not superior but do not ignore them, just behave toward them as if they are like the other normal people and this will be enough to let them avoid you. They are carving for attention and they will be reminded of their old wound if someone ignores them, allowing their superiority to forget when dealing with others.

3). Impress them by convincing that you can do something that is of importance to them better than they could. 

4. If there is a need to defend, make it brief and to the point as arrogant people are not best listeners, and with a thick wall shielding their opinion of themselves.

5. Never be in unison with their arrogance, don’t feed their too much sense of self-importance, be true to yourself and be heartfelt.

6. If caught into a position to insist on, don’t show aggression, but show that you’re not of the same mind.

7. Never be emotionally involved with these people.

8. Retain with an open mind and be forbearing. 

9. Be enduring.

10. Be objective and skilled at observing and assessing their behavior.  

What Causes Arrogance

1). Defense mechanism - used by the subconscious mind so as to prevent further criticism. Anyone who had an unpleasant childhood and hurt by others may develop arrogance to stop further criticism from injuring anyone, which is evident because if someone is being criticized there is the tendency of feeling to be devalued and assumption of being insignificant.

2). Consequence of feeling neglected - with this feeling of not getting all the attention that one deserves, she/he may unconsciously become arrogant just to draw some of the lost attention.

3). Single mindedness - arrogant people either think that they are superior to others or inferior to them, who intimidates others because they feel inferior, as a way to conceal these feelings of inferiority experienced when dealing with someone else.  

 

Signs of Arrogance    

1). Bragging, thinking no more of others, and acting as if they know everything.

2). Interrupting conversations or breaking off immediately

3). Acting as plain bossy which manifests in a tone of voice that indicates bossiness and a dismissive attitude.

       

4). Rarely include others in decision-making because they are certain that they are right and already have the answers, with even less concern as to whether or not the decision is significant.

5). Hanging around with, working with, or conniving with people of high status. This is because the arrogant believe that they are the only worthy of those with high status.

6). Often quite insecure. Through seeking to dominate and control, they feel on top of the things, which mirrors their big fear of being dominated and controlled.

7). Difficulty on admitting being wrong no matter how ridiculous it is, on a self-centered belief that they know things even when the knowledge is obsolete or fails to allow broader perspectives.

8). Envy - many arrogant people actually have less life experience than their deceit; it's all a big disguise overstated by imagination and envy.

      

9). Snob. It is a classic sign of arrogance. Pretending or even actually knowing as much as possible about something that is thought to be exclusive to them, provides the haughty individual the control and he or she isn't afraid to boast.

In conclusion and as a matter of encouragement, use the encounter with the arrogant as an opportunity to progress own listening skills or tolerance. Maybe the weakness of a non-arrogant is impatience, frustration, or disappointment, or felt intimidated. Therefore make an effort to flip the usual negative approaches upside down and treat this as a learning opportunity, in which as a meek person, she/he seeks to listen without judging. Set sights on tolerating the person, seeking to understand what causes them, and how you might feel when confronted in the same shoes. Certainly, there is no place for excusing bad behavior but listening with an open mind may surprise the arrogant person. As the Scripture says, “Have the same regard for one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly; do not be wise in your own estimation.” (Romans 12:16) And the Scripture likewise affirms that, “Before his downfall a man's heart is haughty, but humility goes before honors” (Proverbs 18:12), and perhaps everyone has her/his own downfall brought by arrogance but not everyone who is into arrogance have already triumphed the other bad side of themselves.

Finally, make an effort not to abhor haughty individual but be compassionate since they usually have had a past that give rise to their crooked type of self-security. The truth about their expressed characters is that there is a part of them that they find objectionable and are trying hard to conceal. While several individuals have had pasts that are neither seamless nor close to perfection, arrogant people do not have the abilities to deal with these issues in a prolific approach. The latter disguises than face it. In the long run, learn by heart that compassion for haughty people is within reach, but concurrently hold them answerable for their deeds and have clear self-boundaries. This can be easier said than done but by overlooking the practiced superiority, is knocking down the whole purpose of the behavior – to be like Jesus in simplicity and meekness. 

References:

1). Michelle Roya Rad, How to Deal With Self-Centered People, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/roya-r-rad-ma-psyd/dealing-with-arrogant-people_b_990331.html 

2). M.Farouk Radwan, MSc., Dealing With Arrogant People

3). How to Cope With Arrogant People, http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Arrogant-People