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Saturday, July 29, 2017

Harsh verbal discipline causes children's ability to articulate feelings, psychological disorders, behavioral issues, nervousness, shyness and even suicidal tendencies

Parenting can be stressful and children often do things that make parents angry, dissatisfied, or apprehensive. Sometimes, harsh parenting and positive parenting styles take place jointly in families.

The issues linked with physical punishment are visible, but even parents who never fantasize of beating their children may still fall back on yelling when pushed to their limit to get them to stop doing undesirable things.

Yelling usually develops as children behave badly causing the parents to react with harsh verbal discipline.  On the other hand, children respond with worsening behavior triggering the parents to intensify their yelling and criticism. Towards the end, this cycle spins uncontrollably.

Harsh Verbal Discipline (HVD)  can take several forms: verbal intimidation by shouting or yelling, getting attention by swearing or cursing at the child, or by humiliation by calling the child names like stupid or indolent.

Continuous yelling[1] at the children by parents can permanently affect their mental health and ruin their peace of mind. It works on the child’s confidence and capabilities once she/he is yelled at, causing a lot of stress on the mind and be isolated. Hence, mental peace is affected which results into mental disorders. 
Major lifestyle disorder of the children may cause recurrent disappointment to parents

With revolutionizing times and various gadgets provided by technological mileage, kids’ healthy expressions turn to be compromised. Children are strongly attached with electronic gadgets and speak less than interacting with people around. As a result, children develop behavioral problems, as they use the physical attributes very restrictedly. Even with little instructions, they feel irritated. On the other side, he/ she expects everyone to follow her/his commands. Therefore even conversation appears as yelling for few such kids.

In such situations children try to suppress their feelings, needs and requirements, and forget to react properly with the people around them. This can become a major life style disorder as the physical activity is totally zeroed down. If these are not rectified with timely behavioral therapies, they can also result into major psychological disorders. Henceforth, it is important to understand how yelling can affect the mental health of a child.

So what are the consequences of yelling at children when they misbehave? Does it bring their behavior to be better? How does it make them feel about themselves? Is it less harmful than hitting or spanking? Take the following cautions if you’re into Harsh Verbal Discipline (HVD) as parents:
Unpleasant Effects of Yelling to Children

Children can lose their ability to think once chronically yelled at.

Yelling can cause sense organs to be insensitive that they cannot enjoy any kind of feelings.  This is true to me based on experience because I remember an occasion in my twenties when a friend of mine called my attention for being like this because I could not articulate my feelings in spite of the cheerfulness of the children in a children's village.

It can develop nervousness.

It can result  to speech disability and stammering.

It affects the children’s ability to express their feelings.

It affects their courage to say “NO”, and submit themselves to any kind of maltreatment inaudibly.

It increases their heart beat and also causes palpitations.

They always wear a frightful expression on their face brought by fear to confront yelling.

It causes the children’s absence of enthusiasm and initiative to do their task.

They can appear inattentive most of the times.

It can also result into suicidal tendencies in children.  In fact, two of us in the family, my younger brother and I had confided of this tendency when we were children because of this issue on childhood rearing.

They cannot certainly not live a peaceful life. They are scared for their every act and will lead an introverted life. Gradually such kids who grow into their teens will show signs of anti-social personalities. In fact, my youngest sister has not been able to develop her confidence on building a career for herself although she finished her culinary, and has been aloof to people until now.

These children when become adults will indulge in criminal acts, lead a restless life and haunt people in the society.

Gradually, yelling can also result into hallucinations and wreck their confidence levels indefinitely. Kids who are intruded to such levels can never redeem their confidence in their lifetime. Thus, it is significant to help children come out from physical or mental abuse to immediately stop it. Parents or adults who are unable to stop yelling at the child need to visit a psychologist and change their personality disorder before it gets too late, to save children and reestablish their childhood happiness.    

Harsh verbal discipline[2] is often associated with increased conduct or behavior problems, increased levels of aggression, and interpersonal problems in children. When parents violently yell at their teenagers, the teens feel rejected and disliked. These feelings have a strong negative effect on a teen’s views of their world, family and social relationships. It makes them feel that they do not have the love and support of significant people in their lives.

When parents act harshly towards their children, the teens tend to become angrier, more irritable and more quarrelsome. Instead of feeling cherished, the teen commonly becomes doubtful of her/his angry parents and feels the need to secure him/herself. This basically causes to bad behavior. And I can attest on this because we have never been that close to our parents brought by harsh discipline. This is not to put them down for obvious reason that they also experienced such a discipline, but this type can be cut when someone from the family desires not to emulate such.

Harsh verbal discipline also fuels depression, forming a belief in their minds that they are as “worthless,” or “second-rate,” as their parents’ harsh criticism might imply. The teens turn to be exceedingly self-critical and acquire negative self-images and low self-esteem. Consequently, this can be the root of a pattern on poor choices of peers and behavior.
Conclusion:

Sometimes, positive and harsh parenting styles occur together in families. The former expresses warmth, comfort, concern and affection towards their children and are responsive to their physical and emotional needs, which encourage the children to interact more with their parents and to give back the feelings of warmth and love.

Nevertheless, as unveiled by a research, even when children sensed their parents as generally supportive and loving, the effect of harsh words remain as strong as children who do not feel consistently loved by their parents.
The same study reveals that the higher the level of parental harsh verbal discipline at age 13, the more conduct problems the children show a year later at age 14, regardless if the harsh discipline comes from mothers or fathers. The negative effects of harsh verbal discipline cannot be moderated by parental warmth.

Therefore harsh verbal discipline is not only ineffective but actually makes things worse and creates potentially long-lasting psychological problems for the children and damages parent-child relationships.






 

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