Chances are often the single most significant
factor why many men have a tendency to cheat. Men sometimes enjoy the pleasure
of doing something without the wife's knowledge. Faithfulness is a matter of
options and men can cheat because they can choose. However, the particular situation
is certainly very tempting like if an irresistible woman gives even the
slightest hint of opportunity, resulting for a man to cheat or at least, take a
little pleasure for a moment or two.
Illicit affairs are destructive. One who values infidelity
does not value/love her/himself. There are no positive reasons for dating a
married man. Even the good reasons don't stand the test of time and turn out to
be bad ideas when consequences emerge.
A wise woman should not date a married man should she desire not to face loads of
disappointments, disadvantages and even dangers[1]
Factors why
single women should avoid an illicit affair[2]
1). A man who’s cheating on his wife mirrors on how
he deals with any situation he doesn't like. His getting of an extra-marital
affair is a proof of his escape on dealing with disagreeable situations, which implies
that he's likely to fall back on some deceitful behavior when encountering
relationship problems.
2). A married man cannot commit a healthy future to
an extra-marital affair. A man who is in a very discontented/mind-numbing
marriage can feel amazement by how the other woman makes him through the feeling
of being fantastic. The man may even exclaim, "I've never experience this
way before and I can sense spending the rest of my life with you as special,"
which may sound like an assurance of having future with the other woman but it's
not. Never fail to differentiate his being in love with the way that the other
woman makes him feel with his loving and making an assurance.
3). Concealing a secret is grueling, which attacks self-esteem
and causes to forego one of the wonderful aspects of a relationship. Conversely,
being with someone who is proud to be with you, walking together freely and smilingly
without restrictions to all places provides a positive and radiant glow to
someone’s face.
4). The existence of a single woman’s relationship
with a married man tells how little he respects his wife by being untruthful
instead of telling her he wants out.
5. Whether the other woman likes it or not, she turns
to be an accessory in a man’s infidelity and betrayal of wife’s trust, aside
from the disgustingly disappointment that is being caused to the children for
making it difficult for them to see their father image as their role model.
6. In spite of the reassurance of the importance of
the other woman that the cheating man is projecting, he’s not terminating his relationship with
his wife in a genuine and respectful manner by starting an illegitimate relationship
out of an unlawful relationship.
7. One may hide a secret but the conscience could
not withstand with it. Many men (even women) find it tough to face full
responsibility on dishonest actions. Once trapped by the wife/conscience, it is
human nature to point the finger at than to face embarrassment.
8. Illicit affair is a waste of a precious time. The cheating man simply enjoys the thrill
of having a secret affair. He may promise to leave his wife and keep on telling the other woman to just wait for a few more months but in the end it remains embedded not in the heart but in the air.
People who have been involved with married men and
finally move on often regret having wasted the time in a relationship that’s a punch
to the moon, which eats up the precious time that the other woman might have
had in a healthy relationship that thrives than withers.
9). A married man is not entirely the other woman's property. Husband needs to share
most of his attention to his family. Thus, he won’t be available for the other
woman on Christmas, Easter and even the Valentine’s day. Most of the time, the other woman ends up to be lonely.
10). An illicit affair can’t be made publicly. The other woman can’t be introduced
to friends and family. Often, the cheater tries to avoid the crowd and visit popular
places to avoid meeting his friends, relatives, or worse, his wife, and the
dangers it entail.
11). Many married men are living on the budget, as
he needs to pay for bills, child’s education, and other family-related
expenses. So do not expect luxurious nights and costly presents.
12. The other woman needs to physically share a man
("double dipping"), once with a sexual relationship with a married
man. A disloyal husband has a re-stimulated intimacy with his wife to conceal traces of disloyalty,
attempting to de-emphasize his sexual relationship with the wife to the other woman, but in
the end, he goes home, sleeps and plays husband-and-wife with her, and
"sadly" not with the other woman.
13. The cheating husband has all the advantages,
who is in control of the relationship, taking this affair as something that is
romantically and sexually thrilling, making his life once again exciting. The
other woman is simply his toy. There’ll be an occasion that he’ll be tired of
playing with his toy temporarily or perhaps, for good. Many cheating men still
love their wives and children and can instantly end the relationship if it
threatens to disturb his marriage. As a result, the other woman will be
depressed, left alone.
14. Unlawful relationship has no guarantees. If the married man has been able to
have an affair with the other woman, he can also do it to the other. Aside from which, there is
always a risk that the cheated wife will call persistently, or, worse enough bang
on the other woman’s door, when she realizes the cheating, which will put the
latter to a scandal not only to her colleagues, friends but to the parents. And
if proven, legal action may be the next option. Towards the end, if he preserves the
illicit affair, he may lose much of his financial resources.
15). Room service becomes your favorite restaurant,
being hooked by stunning new outfit out of fear that the other woman might be replaced just
like how he replaces his wife.
16). A woman in an illegitimate affair faces sleepless nights thinking of the cheating man with his
wife, even though he’s told to avoid intimacies with his real wife.
17). An woman who is an accomplice to a fobidden relationship is prone to Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD).
Many times, married men still have
sexual intercourse with their wives and or other females as well, which of
course concealed to the other woman. If one of his other women has an STD
which is unknown to him, guess who’s next in line for it after he has sexual
intercourse with her.[3]
How to End this
dilemma that wrecks family
Begin to set some distance with the cheating man by imposing
physical and emotional boundaries. To prevent being lured back to vulnerable
moments, also try to gradually lessen the feeling on him. Both can be difficult
especially if emotionally and deeply attached but consider its negative effects.
Identify your goal when you started the
relationship with him. It is likely that you desired a lifelong relationship
with someone who is in his prime and receptive.
Go back to this goal as something
that is achievable. Contemplate on things which were ignored after you started
the relationship. You may have recoiled from close friends and family for too
long. Make an assessment whether avoiding your friends and family worth the joy.
At the outset, the process of avoiding the cheating man
can be hard and painful but continuing the relationship may cause a bad split
up and troubled children. Pick the right moment to say the need to end it. In a
situation such as this, tensions and emotions can run high which may resort to
physical abuse so make it publicly.
Some men turn to be fixated in re-establishing the
affair and lose rationality. He may show up on places where you might be, which
increases the possibility for the wife to discover. These are unavoidable risks
that the other woman may need to deal with for having an illicit affair.
CONCLUSION
Infidelity should be stopped NOW. Valuing others’
relationship is respecting their relationship and at the same time valuing, respecting
and loving thy self.
As a long-term effect, this affair causes the other
woman, her lover’s family and countless others so much pain and loneliness.
Search for true happiness, not a relationship that is fleeting and destructive.
Having an illicit affair only brings regret, enemies and lifelong problems.
An illicit affair wears mask to conceal inequitable
act and thus utilized as a weekend getaway, which destroy self-esteem and
security.
The Catholic Church teaches edifies Christ condemns even adultery of mere desire.The sixth commandment and the
New Testament forbid adultery absolutely (Matthew 5:27-28)
"You have heard that it was said,
'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you, everyone who looks at a
woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
The prophets denounce the gravity of adultery (Matthew 5:32; 19:6; Mark 10:11); they see it as an image of the sin of
idolatry (1 Corinthians 6:9-10) - CCC2380
Adultery is an injustice. He who commits adultery
fails in his commitment. He does injury to the sign of the covenant which the
marriage bond is, transgresses the rights of the other spouse, and undermines
the institution of marriage by breaking the contract on which it is based. He
compromises the good of human generation and the welfare of children who need
their parents' stable union (Hosea 2:7; Jeremiah 5:7; 13:27 -CCC2381
References:
[1] Elizabeth Danish , Dating a Married Man, http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15466/1/Dating-a-Married-Man.html
[2] Mark Goulston M.D., F.A.P.A., 10 Reasons to Not Date a Married Man, Posted
Nov 03, 2009, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/just-listen/200911/know-any-foolish-women-10-reasons-not-date-married-man
[3] Ken Pile, Dating The Married Man? Know the Consequences, August 4, 2015,
https://redredapples.wordpress.com/2015/08/04/dating-the-married-man-know-the-consequences/
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